Wedding ceremonies and wedding receptions involve much planning and preparation. From the selected venues to the wedding invitations to the final honeymoon send off, a wedding can be totally stressful or the best day of your life. In order to help you and your guests enjoy the event, here are some suggestions for the bride and groom and their guests to follow.
Guest List. Wedding invitations are formally addressed to those that are invited to the ceremony and/or the reception. The bride and groom have predetermined the venue and budget and invited those they want to have on hand to help them celebrate their marriage. If the invitation is sent to a single person, it should indicate if they are allowed to bring a date. An invitation addressed to a couple may include the names of their children if they are welcome to attend.
When you receive an invitation you should respect the intent under which it was sent. If your children are not mentioned or you are single and the invitation did not indicate that you can bring a date, do not appear with extra people in tow. It is not acceptable to add names to the response card or even suggest you would like to bring someone with you as that puts the bride in an awkward position and will ultimately cost her more money. Respect the wishes of the couple. They want everyone to enjoy themselves but it is ultimately their day.
RSVP. RSVP is a French phrase that stands for répondez s'il vous plait and translates to "please respond" in English. Sadly this practice of letting someone know of your plans in advance is quickly dying in today's culture. If a head count is required for the ceremony or reception it is the duty of the bride to indicate on the invitation that a response is required. Often a separate response card is included in the invitation with a self addressed and stamped envelope that allows the invitee to easily respond.
When wedding invitations are received it is the obligation of the invited guest to respond and let the bride know if they will or will not be able to attend. There are no excuses for not replying in a timely fashion and every effort should be made to respond as soon as possible so that plans can be made accordingly. Money is spent on caterers, venues and all sorts of preparations depend on an accurate head count so it is imperative that an invited guest let the bride know if they will or will not be in attendance.
Gifts. When a couple marries it is customary to shower then with gifts that will serve to celebrate the occasion or help them start their life as a married couple. The bride and groom should never overtly ask for presents but can suggest needs when asked. By registering desires at selected stores through a bridal registry process, they can easily express their interests and make gift giving easier for those interested. Wedding invitations or wedding announcements should not be sent with the intent of receiving gifts in exchange and no one should be faulted for not sending a gift under any circumstances. It is not considered appropriate to include mention of gifts or your gift registry in your invitations or announcements. And always send thank you cards for gifts received as soon as possible.
If you know the couple and would like to congratulate them with a gift, you have every right to do so whether or not you receive a formal notice of the marriage or are invited to the wedding or reception. However, etiquette states that you should send a gift if you have received an invitation to the ceremony or reception even if you cannot attend. Presents can be sent before the wedding or can be brought to the wedding or reception in most cases but should be left on a table prepared for gifts, not handed to the bride or groom. Including a card with your name on it inside the wrapped gift will insure it does not somehow get separated. If you receive wedding announcements you are not obligated to send a gift but may do so if you so choose. Often a card of congratulations is appropriate.
Wedding Behavior. A wedding is a time for joyous celebration. The ceremony is the official exchanging of vows while the reception is the party celebrating the new union. A bride and groom should expect proper behavior from their guests at both events. If there is any doubt that someone may disrupt either, think twice before inviting them.
As a guest you are expected to be on time and dressed appropriately. Respect the formality of the ceremony and enjoy the reception. If food and drink are provided, control your actions while having fun, knowing that the bride and groom are the focus of the day, not you. Thank the hosts for including you, congratulate the wedding party and enjoy the festivities. Be a welcomed guest reflecting behavior suited to the occasion.
After all the planning has been done and the day comes to an end, you will be left with the memories of your perfect wedding and all of your loving friends and family that helped make it so. And your guests will remember your wedding as being one that was perfect as well!
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