Wednesday, January 14, 2009

How To Word Your Invitation For The Wedding Dinnner Buffet

While indicating menu choices on the response card is not proper according to the highest standards of etiquette, it is a practice that has become widely accepted. The best way to handle the three options is to include a space before each option on the response card.

As with anything, less is more...the simpler you can make things for your guests, the more likely you are to get accurate responses. You may even consider a short line after "are pleased to accept".
I am suggesting the following items without taking into consideration food allergies, etc. I'll also suggest some vegetarian-only, low-sodium, and other alternatives.

Swedish or barbecue meatballs are always a favorite. These can be served alone or with lightly buttered linguini offered nearby. Lasagna is also easy to make and serves many, as is spaghetti. Sides of steamed vegetables (spinach, broccoli) and garlic bread are both easy and economical.

If you'd prefer some American dishes, boneless buffalo wings, coleslaw, and pulled pork barbecue can also serve many at a lower price. Another good choice (and good for kids) is homemade pizza. You could have this along with some French fries for anyone who may not like anything else.

Eggplant parmesan is a good choice if you have vegetarians or people on low-sodium diets. Lightly seasoned chicken breast is also a good choice for people who are concerned about eating heart-healthy.

Also make sure you have whole-grain rolls or bread available and a do-it-yourself salad bar is sure to be a hit. Start with a big bowl of chopped lettuce and red cabbage. Put out bowls with cucumbers, celery, mushrooms, carrots, grape tomatoes, raw broccoli, and other salad accompaniments. Choose at least 3 salad dressings and oil and vinegar dressing.

For a reception that large, you will undoubtedly be cooking a lot of food and some of it (like the meatballs, etc.) may be difficult to keep warm. Be sure to invest in plenty of chafing dishes and sterno. You may want to cook a lot of the food in advance and then freeze it.

If your reception area has a kitchen, you can start thawing or cooking the food in the oven the morning before the ceremony. Have two or three people continue to thaw and cook the food during the ceremony so that the food will be warm by the time it needs to be replenished then keep them warm with hotplates or sterno. Things like chicken, meatballs, etc. can be kept warm in crock pots and the crock pots can be switched out when the other one is empty.

I personally like buffets best. Guest can pass on what they do not want and get what they do like. A properly chosen buffet can satisfy likes and dislikes and dietary needs. With a sit down there is the meal and that is it. Also if the entree is one that is not so good you are stuck with it where on the buffet you still have choices.

You could serve appetizers instead of a full meal. I think it would save considerably on the cost. But the only problem that you will have is that when your guest get there invitation that will assume that there will be a dinner after the wedding.

While I understand both points I believe they are following the line. That when you are keeping the people (your guest) over a dinner hour that your guest will expect a full meal and a meal should be served. If your time is between meals then the appetizer reception would be proper when it is put that way in the invitation.

About the Author

Victor Epand is an expert commentator at http://www.CustomDesignPostcards.com. Visit us when you need to make custom designed holiday, gift, and invitation cards, as well as business cards and brochures. We are the only design utility that lets you download the print-ready images!

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Kalisti's African Wedding

Kalisti has worked for me as a houseboy for three years now, he thinks he is 20 years old but no one is quite sure of his real age. Before he worked for me he earned his money as a thief living on the streets; if fact the streets were his home since he was very young. He had never been to a proper school, never had a birthday, never been loved and was largely a loner. The only role model was an older brother who sold drugs and was eventually imprisoned for murder. In prison the brother had slit his wrists with a broken bottle and quite unnoticed had bled quietly to death. Most folk in our village, thought of Kalisti as lost cause.

He came to me after serving three months in an east African prison for theft. The same prison that had allowed the life to bleed out his brother’s wrist was to become Kalisti’s saving grace. The experience he suffered in prison became the deliverance into repentance and a new life; so very much did he fear returning to any prison.

I had recently returned to Tanzania and needed someone to keep house as I had recently rented a house off the main road that led into town. The house I had rented from Mama Freda [who I am sure is a distant relation of Attila the Hun]. Mama Freda rented her home to me but stayed close-by living in a one roomed house in the terrace garden above. We were separated by a few banana trees and a thin bamboo fence which to my eternal torment had a gate and then a short five steps down into my back garden. She used this gate on a regular basis to visit me when the mood was upon her to chat and to ensure I watered her border plants.

Kalisti came to my attention at a local community meeting he had approached the village elders as he had been give a book and needed someone to teach him to read. I volunteered to pay for his lessons and in return Kalisti’s gave me his undying loyalty and friendship.

Minja, one of the village elders, decided that I should take in Kalisti as my houseboy and I was told he could also see to the garden and by night he would help protect me. It was also decided I could help rehabilitate him into society and as an added bonus my Swahili would improve as Kalisti could not speak one work of English besides ‘hello’.

He has been with me for quite a while now and he calls me his father. Sometimes I have to walk through the slum areas of Unga Limited late at night. He calls this area ‘the ghetto’ and he can find his way through the labyrinth of narrow alleys blindfolded. He knows the all the thieves so they leave us alone. Those he doesn’t know are intimidated his height and attitude.

The down side is if he accompanies me to the one supermarket that has just opened in the town centre we are followed by security guards. If he went alone I am sure they would refuse him entry.

If ever you were to ask Kalisti his one ambition in life he would answer to have a wife. After three years of asking every woman who spoke to him someone has said yes. He now has a fiancé and is about to marry her – he hopes – in November.

He came to me two weeks ago and has asked for a week off to give him time to travel to the other end of Tanzania to visit the family of his fiancé and to pay for the privilege and ‘permission to marry’. This will be formalized in the form of a letter from his fiancé’s father. I asked him why he can’t marry a girl whose family lives in the same village! However, he left fifteen days ago to cross Tanzania by bus.

Two days ago Mama Freda visited me as she was just a little worried as Kalisti has not yet returned. He traveled with his wife and a chaperone who was to also double up as a negotiator to establish a fair price for the bride. Kalisti has never ventured very far from his home town of Arusha and to take on this great epic adventure across the vastness of Tanzania was a challenge. Mama Freda and I talked and wondered why Kalisti was late returning home and we both worked ourselves up into a fit of worry for his safety.

The following day Kalisti returned early in the evening. Mama Freda wanted to share the excitement of Kalisti’s adventure. So she killed one of her chickens and I went to the butcher and we cooked up a feast. We went to eat with Mama Freda in her garden, we sat on a grass mat under a tree and the only light was that of the full moon. We shared our meal and Kalisti talked and talked late into the evening. It was so bohemian!

Kalisti told us about the experience of his adventure. He walked in the warm Indian Ocean in Dar es Salaam – this was his first ever sight of the sea; this trip was a truly life changing experience for him. I wish I had been there to share this experience – I would have loved to see him in the sea; trousers rolled up to his knees and being on a beach for the first time in his life.

The following day he left Dar es Salaam by bus to travel to the Iringa region of Tanzania. There are hundreds nay thousands of the huge baobab trees around Iringa and this also impressed him. As did passing through Mikumi National Park on the journey from Dar es Salaam to Iringa – the main road cuts through the north end of the park - he managed to spot giraffes, impala, zebras and a herd or two of elephants. It is strange that many people in Tanzania live so close to these fantastic National Parks and never get to see any wildlife.

The village he to which he traveled to obtain the life changing letter to marry his fiancé was high in the mountains that straddle the Tanzanian - Malawi border – the evenings here are cold – Kalisti has never experienced real cold before. He said in a morning he took boiling water straight from the pan to drink in one gulp in order to defrost himself – a little exaggeration here I think.

His most lasting impression in this small village was one that saddened him. The village of his fiancée – the people are so very poor even by African standards. It is so cold and they survive mainly on maze and beans – no money for medication – if you get sick you simply die. He visited graves next to the homes he visited and now he could read he read everything he could. He counted the many small graves of the young children who had died – he read the inscriptions on the graves - it has truly shocked him.

The houses are made from local clay bricks baked in huge wood fires and the roof is made from dried grass – not thatch I was told - but hay. All houses were low roofed and Kalisti [who is very tall] kept banging his head.

He paid the price for his bride and succeeded in getting the letter to allow him to marry his fiancée. He used all his savings to travel to get this letter, which normally would have been such a waste of money in my eyes. I would rather the money be spent on the house Kalisti needs to build for his new wife. However, he has had such an education over the past ten days I think the money well spent.

Young Pastor Geoffrey visited twice today as he is organizing the wedding – not a grand wedding but a small ceremony followed by a feast for the village and then the young couple go to live life in dire poverty. The process to pay for the wedding here in Tanzania is to buy some cards to announce the wedding and ask for donations. Kalisti is to be married on 20th November. I fear it all happens too quickly, we need to save more money but who can stop the headlong rush of a young man and woman who have just got to be married.

I am thinking of taking Kalisti into our village school tomorrow – I want to get him to tell the storey of his adventure to the young children. We will rehearse tonight. I think it might be fascinating for the children to share with Kalisti his adventure and Kalisti is like a child when he gets excited about something.

The morning after we had sat under the full moon to eat with Mama Freda she visited me to let me know she had the flu. I suppose our bohemian supper was nice but the evening had a definite chill in the air. Mama Freda and I are getting a little old for such things!

Kalisti has announced when he leaves me, the week before the wedding to move into his new home, that he will take the new guest bed I have just purchased for some guests coming over from England. He wants the bed as a wedding present and won’t take no for an answer. I think we will have to fight about this issue. I am putting my foot down and will not allow him to take this bed when he moves out to live with his new bride and at the same time I am thinking how to afford another a new bed.

About the Author

To see a photograph of Kalisti talking to the children at school about his experiences go to http://www.tunaweza.com this site supports local Community Initiatives in Kenya and Tanzania. For information on Tanzania safaris see http://www.tanzania-info.co.uk supporting responsible tourism.


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Wednesday, January 7, 2009

The History Of Diamond Engagement Rings

Buying that special ring to pop the question to your partner can take much of your time, because you want things to be just perfect for them. The most popular choices in engagement rings are of course diamonds, most obviously a girl's best friend. Many women will not deny that obtaining a nice diamond ring will evoke feelings of oneness and satisfaction. This may seem superficial, but who can argue that a diamond ring for an engagement proposal is not the way to woman's heart?

The First Recorded Rings

Historically marriage and engagement rings have been a symbol of unity for many years and came in the form of a simple iron hoop. Some years later this was followed by gold band rings. The symbol of the ring and its eternal circular shape was the main significance of the engagement ring, corresponding to the unification of a couple for a lifelong period.

It is believed that the ancient Greeks had begun this trend for rings in marriage, as earlier studies have shown that marriages were arranged and drawn up from a contract, known as the dowry. However, whether the ring was used as a symbol of unity or bribe is yet to be proven. The Greeks had used the ring before marriage and was known as a betrothal ring. Nowadays this can be interpreted as a promise ring.

The Celtic culture may have used the hair as a symbol of marital unity, in which the hair was braided together after marriage. However, other historical recordings have discovered that this may have been in the form of hair bracelets braided together. The middle ages saw the creation of the 'gimmel', which were comprised of two or three hoops attached at the base of the ring. When placed together it gave the appearance of just one ring.

The ring did not become a symbol of marriage until the 12th century, by Pope Innocent III order( the same Pope had decreed that weddings be held in churches), who instigated and initiated that wedding rings be incorporated in wedding ceremonies. This followed a widespread trend of using rings in marriages.

The First Diamond Rings

Diamonds were not discovered until around 800BC in India, whereby this precious gem was believed to have possessed magical powers. Societies were more impressed by its strength and hardness; hence its name was derived from the Greek 'adamas' meaning unconquerable. This made it the best choice in engagement rings; however, they were not as widely available back then as they are now.

The first recorded engagement ring to be given to a woman was to Mary of Burgundy by the Archduke of Maximilian of Hamburg in 1477. Prior to this, it was relatively unheard of to give diamond rings as a symbol of engagement. The renaissance era had seen single set diamond rings in its natural form set on gold ring bands. It was not until the eighteenth century of when diamonds had made its way to Brazil, which made it more available.

The diamond ring became a fashion accessory with many of the wealthy elite wearing them in balls and dinners. The Victorian ages saw more widespread of diamond rings, upon the discovering diamond mines in Africa. Rings in the Victorian ages were much more romantic in style, decorated with flowers, birthstones, love letters and multiple diamonds set in rosettes.

The engagement ring very quickly became a subject of fashion, wealth and love. Those who were able to afford the diamond ring were usually regarded as well established upper class individuals. Many of the middle class generation kept to the tradition of using birthstones set on gold rings, diamonds were still a luxury and a privilege for many.

Throughout the years, as the diamond has become available worldwide, they have become larger and creative in style. Many of the contemporary Hollywood celebrities have been famously seen to be sporting 'bling' fest diamond encrusted rings. Most famous of them all is Elizabeth Taylor who is often seen with numerous diamond engagement rings, one of which weighing at nearly 30 carats.

On average, seventy-eight percent of engagement ring purchases are diamond, further proving this a strong and lucrative business even for today.

About the Author

Anna Stenning is an expert on engagement rings, having researched on diamonds and the first wedding ring.

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The Secret To A Great Marriage,

You too can have a happy, fulfilling Marriage

The Secret to a Great Marriage, Should not be a secret at all.

My husband and I were married in 1965, raised a family and still feel about each other as though we are newlyweds. Brides, grooms and married couples who know us, often ask us something akin to: "What is the secret to your relationship and happy marriage?"

Since I write for brides and grooms and married couples, I thought this is an important topic to write about.

When you first decide to marry, you are very much in love. It is this flame that you need to nurture so it does not dim. If you do, you too will enjoy the bliss of a happy fulfilling marriage. But how do you do it?

There are many aspects to married life and all are crucial. Some couples look at the movies for fairy tale marriages where all is always rosy and nice. Reality however dictates that you should never take your spouse for granted and that each of you needs to give MORE than 100 percent but expect less.

Of the highest priority is that you make your marriage the MOST important part of your life and your spouse the most important person. Never compromise the place of your spouse or marriage relating to anything else.

We often hear married people say that the kids come first. We say that the only exception is your spouse. After all, your children are invited guests in your marriage. Guests that eventually will leave you empty nesters. Once more, you are a married couple without children at home. Is your flame still burning? It should be!

Following are suggestions that are the results of our experiences as husband and wife.

SET ASIDE TIME FOR EACH OTHER

We are all very busy. Our days, weeks months and years are filled with many obligations and responsibilities that are demanding of our time and energy. From work, house keeping, child rearing and volunteering even to socializing, our calendar is full. Yet we make sure to devote special time for each other. It does not have to be a large block of time. A phone call during the day just to say "“I love you", "I miss you" or "I was thinking about you"” or placing a love note in your spouse’s car does not take much time yet warms the heart.

PRAISE, COMPLIMENT AND ENCOURAGE EACH OTHER

It does not take but a moment to share kind words, compliments praise and encouragement. Yet they are very important to a great relationship. Both my husband and I have and will continue to tell each other how grateful, how fortunate, how lucky and how fulfilled we feel for having the other as our partner in life. Yes! Marrying my husband is the best thing that ever happened to me.

We find opportunities for sentiments such as:

“you look great.
I really like your…,
I am proud of you for…,
Your idea is terrific. You should pursue it.
Thanks for your input it really helps.
I am glad I asked for your opinion.
You make my life complete.
What would I do without you?
etc…

DO THINGS TOGETHER

It is always fun to be together. So find things that both of you can participate in and do them together. Whether it is entertainment or household chores, visiting or going on vacation nothing can bring you closer than sharing and being with one another, showing interest and participating in what is important to your mate.

Take Chiho for example. She does not particularly enjoy going to the movies. Yet, she surprised Dan when she took him to a movie he mentioned he would like to see.

Just as doing things together is crucial to a great marriage, it is also crucial to remember that occasionally we all need our own space. Do not always hang around. Allow your spouse his or her own space.

DO FOR EACH OTHER

It is expected that married couples will remember and celebrate each other on special occasions such as birthdays, holidays and anniversaries. Ours happens to be easy to remember as we got married on the 4th of July.But the beauty and warmth of a surprise exceeds them all. Small and large gestures done without fanfare say, "I love you and think of you." And "“you are important to me".

Here again, you do not have to be rich to surprise each other as acts of kindness go a long way. Neither my husband nor I ever surprised the other with a diamond ring or a new car sitting in the driveway. We just do little things for each other, sometimes serious sometimes humorous, but always with love. In fact, just yesterday my husband walked in with a lovely bonsai tree in a planter and said: "When I saw this beautiful little tree I thought of you and how much you’ll enjoy it."

Put on your thinking cap and come up with ideas that will please your mate and reflect your love.

Take your mate on a surprise day outing just for enjoyment.

Set a special dinner table and if you have no children light candles for a romantic atmosphere.

Bring home a box of candies, a bottle of wine or champagne, a dessert your spouse likes a book he or she will enjoy, a movie to watch together.Or how about a bonsai tree?

Bring your spouse a stuffed animal, a piggy bank for the laundry room for loose change that falls out of pockets, a flower or even just a card.

Surprise your spouse with a new outfit or sexy lingerie and he will cherish the moment.

Prepare a bubble bath for your un-suspecting wife complete with romantic candles and she will thank you for your thoughtfulness.

Warm your spouse’s car on a cold morning.

Share in doing the chores.

You know what your spouse will enjoy and appreciate. Use your imagination and surprise him or her.

PERSONALITY TRAITS

We are all human and no one is perfect. Every marriage includes two individuals with their unique personality traits, some wonderful and some faulty. Yes! We all have our faults. So how do we handle the faulty traits yet love, respect and be thankful for having our spouse?

Rather than criticize, we do our utmost to understand each other and turn the faults into positives.

Let us say that others think of your spouse as touchy. Why not describe him or her as sensitive?
How about turning the tables from a manipulative person to a person who is very resourceful with many creative ideas?

Have you got a fussy spouse? Or is he or she simply very organized and efficient?

Your spouse is not messy. He or she simple is very creative and creative people work best when they are not restricted.
Here again, you know your spouse better than anyone else. Get creative.

Talking about personality traits raises the question of disagreements. Since each of us is an individual, we each have our points of view and ideas that may differ and even contradict our spouse’s. This may cause disagreements and even fights. Anger and resentment may build and affect the relationship. Should you allow it? Absolutely not!

Act maturely about disagreements and do not let them escalate and become actual fights.

Ask our sons who are in their thirties, and they will tell you that they can not recall us ever fighting exchanging harsh words or raising our voices. This is because we never allowed a disagreement to become more than an argument. And we settled our arguments over a cup of coffee.

It is crucial that you resolve your misunderstandings and arguments and kiss and make up before you go to bed.

NEVER go to sleep angry at one another.

ALWAYS kiss and say “I love you” before you go to sleep.

SHOW AFFECTION

Some individuals do not mind showing affection in public, while others are reserved. Yet we all like and need to be reassured that we are loved.

Small gestures of love even as small as an unexpected touch, kiss or even a pat on the head can make us tingle and give us butterflies. Think about how you’d feel when you are watching TV or are at your computer and your spouse plants a kiss on the back of your neck or passes a loving hand on your head or back and leaves the room. That is right! He or she came into the room just to touch you with love. So, how do you feel about it?

ALWAYS STAND BY YOUR MAN – WOMAN

If not for my husband’s encouragement, patience, understanding and support, I would never have written this article because I would not have become involved with weddings.

The books I have written and published, Candles By Nily and A-wedding Day would not have been born if not for his love and caring, interest and actual devotion to seeing me happy.

Though my husband may not see it this way, he made many sacrifices to allow me to pursue my dreams. I am and always will be grateful to him.

Many couples do and will, and we too encountered rough spots throughout our marriage. Some such as a lengthy period of unemployment could have caused us to separate yet, because of our deep love and devotion to one another, brought us closer together. We stood by each other just as we vowed "for better and for worse" and nurtured each other knowing that "“this too shall pass" and that we shall stay together and thrive.

We are not angels and each of us made some mistakes along the way. We could have gotten upset and angry with the other. However, we took the route of rationalization. Our usual reaction has been that we learned an important lesson, it cost us less than college tuition and we can chuck it to experience and go on with life.

As the author of this article, I concentrated on my husband and what he did to strengthen our marriage, as I did not find it appropriate to toot my own horn.

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Copyrights © 2007 All Rights Reserved Nily Glaser, Nily Glaser is the CEO of A-wedding Day
A-wedding Day is a very popular Wedding Resource and Information Center, and a discount shopping mall for wedding gifts, supplies and bridal accessories.

About the Author

Nily Glaser, the CEO of A-wedding Day at: http://www.a-weddingday.com She is a published author who writes important articles, and has presented workshops for wedding professionals all over the USA.

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